I like to read "Dear Abby" from time to time and this letter had me crying it was so funny. Does anyone else share my love for this kind of humor? The sad thing is that it is not really funny to the letter writer...
"DEAR ABBY: My wife thinks it's funny when she hits me. The other day I was splitting some wood and decided to take a break. I began driving golf balls into the field. She came out, grabbed the club out of my hands and whacked me in the leg with it. When I asked her why, she said, 'Get back to work!' and started laughing. I was left with a large welt and a big bruise.
Another time she bought some king crab legs for dinner. When I asked her if she was serving anything else with them, she picked up a crab claw and hit me in the forehead with it. She thought it was funny. I ended up in the emergency room with three stitches.
Last night, I was trying to add up our bills on the computer. She walked in and smacked me in the chin with the keyboard. She said I should be able to do the bills on paper like a normal person.
We have been together nine years, married for three. I love her with all my heart, but I'm getting tired of her little 'jokes'. How can I approach her? I want her to know how I feel, but I'm afraid to offend her or make her angry. -Frustrated in Oregon"
Obviously, Abby gave the advice to run don't walk away from his sadistic wife but I think that it is hilarious that she thinks it is funny to hit him with a golf club, crab leg and a key board. Her comments were the best too, like "do the bills on paper like a normal person". I am not that kind of wife but does anyone else want to read the letter again because they thought that was the funniest thing in the world? And who would love to meet this husband and wife? Come on admit it.
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5 comments:
You post so rarely, but when you do, boy do you ever. That wife should be in her own sitcom so we could all laugh this much every night.
Also, maybe you are this kind of wife .. . after all, do you remember writing gefarliche wege on my calendar next to a pic of you whacking me?? And who was it that thought it was funny to pull my bra strap when I was a mere frightened freshman? Hmmmm?
Sweet. I believe Dave confided in me one time that you smack him in the arm really hard sometimes, he looked as though it might not be his favorite thing, and he too, like "Frustrated in Oregon" is too afraid to tell you for fear of what you might whack him with next.
I'm just sayin'.
oh man...that was hilarious. i'm glad i finally decided to check blogs again. that was definitely worth it. and yes, i must see a photo of these two. i think we should now have a contest and find a random couple on the internet who we think might be this couple. i'm glad he "adores her" but the keyboard one is the best.
It sure made me want to read Dear Abby. Who does that, honestly? I can hear Bryant right now, "Sack up, be a man, hit her back" :)
O man i needed that!!! I swear i am just giggling away here at my computer wishing we were together reading this, because it would maximize the laughing and tears. But i am kind of thinking the lady might be so cool and i could love her. Especially if I got see those things happen for real!
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